What the Cat Said, What the Dog Said

Fuzz-a-Bug and Jasmine: Enemies with Common Allies

Fuzz-a-Bug and Jasmine: Enemies with Common Allies

Cat:  Would you rid us of this poop factory?

Dog:  I can take care of our cat problem.

Cat:  I was here first.

Dog:  I have some coyote cousins I’d love you to meet.

Cat:  There’s a Southeast Asian family looking for you.

Dog:  You don’t love the people the way I do.

Cat:  I don’t drool the way you do.

Dog:  I can protect my people.

Cat:  I can protect myself, as for everyone else, well, Darwin said it all.

Dog:  Why do they keep you?

Cat:  They don’t, I keep them.

Dog:  You’re an arrogant, uncaring, jerk.

Cat:  Your point?

Dog:  Why do you exist?

Cat:  I’m God’s gift to the humans. In Egypt they worshiped us.

Dog:  Apparently God has a grudge against humans.

Cat:  Oh, a joke, the dog made a joke. Good for you. What else did you learn at the shelter?

Dog:  At least I didn’t come begging at the door.

Cat:  I wasn’t begging. I was cute.

Dog:  Maybe you were cute. I didn’t know you before you got so fat.

Cat:  If the humans all die, I’ll live longer. Survival of the fittest, remember.

Dog:  It’s survival of the fittest, not fattest. If the humans go, you’re breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Cat:  And you think you can take me? You yelp at the smallest scratch.

Dog:  You always attack when I’m not looking.

Cat:  Remember that. You’ll never see me coming until it’s too late.

Dog:  Speaking of late, isn’t it time for dinner?

Cat:  At least five minutes ago.

Dog:  Condition Red?

Cat:  Exactly, you go look at them with sad eyes and I’ll meow at them from the kitchen.

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